It took me a long time to realize it, but my life has been a privileged one. I’m a Canadian-born, upper-middle class white male with university-educated parents, two homes (both growing up and now), disposible income to travel with, no kids so no long-term responsibilities, and (most importantly) a loving husband. I also live in a relatively left-wing country with an excellent health care system. I don’t face racism, other than the occasional person who doesn’t make an effort to understand my Spanglish

However, my life wasn’t always easy. As you can see in my Patreon site, I’m on the gender fluid side and low-needs autistic, which combined made me feel like quite the outsider growing up.

My brain tumour wake up call forced me to reexamine my life and I’ve recognized my privilege. Looking at the larger picture, I am a very lucky guy. Yes, I could do without the fatal tumour, but I’ve come to accept that the farther you get away from 50, the more chances something will take you out sooner than later. Every day is a gift and I have learned to embrace it, even when I’m with migraines, body aches and tumour-induced confusion and bad moods.

This website wouldn’t exist if I weren’t a writer. I'm an author because I have no choice. Every time I’ve tried not writing in my life, my muse pushes through the layers of trauma, drama and demand avoidance to express itself in stories. My digging about in my past has shown me just how much of what I’ve written has buried itself so deeply in my memories that when I look at the words, it feels like I am reading something by someone else. But they exist, proof that words are in my veins. I even have a tattoo on the inside of my right arm, helping the words flow. It’s a quote from Lewis Carroll’s Alice Adventures Through the Looking-Glass where Alice is talking to Humpty Dumpty about the meaning of the poem Jaberwocky. She questions his interpretation of certain English words and his reply is this:

When I use a word, it means exactly what I choose.

It reminds me that despite my muse’s attempts to take over, ultimately I am in control of what ends up on the screen.